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Bree Stedman, August 3 2019

She couldn't shake "what's the point"


That was the thought that followed her everywhere.

She had a satisfying career that used to fulfil her. She had a family who loved and supported her. She had a small yet close group of friends. And she’d achieved a lot in her life.
And yet, she couldn’t shake this dark, depressing feeling that it all meant nothing. That she was nothing.

She didn’t always feel this way. It was like one morning she woke up and the spark was just.... gone.

So she tried to practice gratitude. She made list after list of all the blessings in her life.
She tried to busy herself doing the things that once brought her joy.
She got outside, she practiced self love, she tried to catch the negativity and turn it into something better..... but that in itself was a problem because there wasn’t any real negativity. The was just..... a nothingness.

When she tried to talk about what she was feeling, she struggled to really express herself.... she couldn’t clearly communicate her thoughts or feelings because everything was just dull.

Logically she new that she could open up to her friends but she was embarrassed by her truth because she didn’t have any real reason to feel what she did. So she bit her tongue and berated herself instead.

And so she got good at pretending. She pretended she was doing well. She pretended that she had it together. She maintained the appearance with her routines.
She smiled and she laughed, but inside she felt.... empty. Flat. Nothing.

Of a nighttime she’d lay in bed. Wide awake. Thinking about nothing yet thinking about everything. She was tired, but she couldn’t sleep.
She’d try and distract herself - social media because a crutch for her - she’d scroll through post after post finding herself criticising other people’s ‘so called happiness’.... she found it hard to believe that any of it was real. Convinced that everyone was pretending.

And this just made her feel even worse..... because, we’ll.... what’s the point of it all?

So she went to see a counsellor to try and ‘work out’ what was going on. But after a few visits she realised she was spending that time just rehashing the same story and that it wasn’t really helping.

So she found a Life Coach. Someone who could help motivate her with goals and a forward focus. And this was good while she had the accountability..... but after a while she started to resent the fact that she required the ‘expectation of someone else’ to motivate her. She wanted to be driven from within, not because she’d told someone she’d do something.

She exercised. And while she did that, and shortly after, she’d feel good. But then the slump would come back.

The glimpses of ‘feeling good’ led her to believe that not all was lost. But she wanted something that turned her internal light back on, something that didn’t require CONSTANT EFFORT.

And that’s when she found me and Creatrix®. She’d heard other women talking about how easy it was, and how dramatic the internal shift was. She stalked me for a while. She’d talk herself in and out of reaching out to me for months..... that sense of hopelessness kept her fearing that it couldn’t possibly work.But then one day, she woke up and realised that she had nothing to lose. She realised that her family needed her to find that spark again. She realised SHE needed to find that spark.

It’s been a number of years since her breakthrough, and from the outside nothing appears to have changed. She still has her career (although she’s now fulfilled and deeply satisfied by it again, while also increasing her success), her family are still her world (her relationships just feel more genuine and connected) and she still meets up with her girlfriends regularly (she laughs because it feels good now, not because it is expected).

Internally, everything has shifted.

That spark that she lost..... it’s burning brightly. Everyday she wakes with a sense of purpose to be who she is.... there’s no more pretending. She doesn’t have to force gratitude, because it’s deeply intwined in every little thing she does. Most importantly , she FEELS good!

This is the magic of Creatrix® - it’s not always something other people can see, but for the woman who invests in it, the changes are so deep and so significant, that she has the ability to be more of herself in every choice that she makes.


Written by

Bree Stedman


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