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Bree Stedman, June 22 2019

She couldn't stand the sight of herself

She was 9 years old when she remembers first looking in the mirror and thinking “you look funny”
By the time she was 12, she couldn’t look at herself without seeing all her ‘uglies’
By 14, she had stopped looking in the mirror.

She avoided photos like the plague, but when she had to have a pic taken, she’d suck her gut in - positioning her body so her ‘good’ side was visible, holding her chin up to avoid the double chin all while trying to ‘smile with her eyes’.

Anytime someone would compliment her smile - a smile that, to others, would light up the room, she would hear herself saying “they must need glasses - can’t they see my crooked teeth, my limp hair and my oily skin”

Before she could drive she was manipulating and denying her body.... missing meals. Regularly vomiting. Abusing herself with substances. She started to exercise compulsively. All in an effort to ‘look’ a certain way.

Of course no-one knew this dirty little secret though - how could she speak about something she was so ashamed of?

And really, who would care anyway? Everyone was so busy with their own lives and dramas. She didn’t want to waste their time because no one could help anyway. She was too messed up.

She turned to celebrities and social media for inspiration. She read stories of other women who had pulled their lives together. She learned about how they all made the decision to be more for themselves. And she tried to do what they told her to - show self love, be grateful, be kind to herself.

But she couldn’t help but feel it was all pointless - no matter how much she tried to be kinder to herself, she simply couldn’t look at herself and think anything other than a stream of repulsive abuse.

“You’re fat”
“You’re ugly”
“No-one likes you”
“You’ll always be alone”
“You’re unlovable”

Gradually, she started to realise that the problem was not in how she looked. Or who tried to offer advice or kind thoughts.

The problem was she Loathed who she was.

But she was DONE talking about her problems. And she didn’t want just another short-term band-aid.

She wanted to be able to sit around the dining table with her family and ENJOY the meal.She wanted to be able to enjoy a conversation with her friends and NOT have the constant stream of thoughts screaming at her from within.

She wanted to be able to look at her reflection and at least LIKE what she saw.

She wanted to be able to enjoy LIFE.

That’s why she put her faith in Creatrix®. Because she wanted. More. For. Herself.

Stories like this.... they are far too common for women. And they last for far too long.
They can stop though. They don’t need to keep playing out.

In the weeks after her breakthrough, she found a new lease on life - a view of the world that she’d never experienced before.... it was like the blinkers that had previously narrowed her vision, where all her focus was on how bad she felt about herself had been stripped away and for the first time she could see that there was SO much more to her life AND that she DESERVED to have it all.

In the YEARS since, it’s been an absolute pleasure witnessing how much LIFE she enjoys. If she wants it, she goes out and makes it happen. She’s living life on her terms and is totally unapologetic about it.THAT’s the real beauty of a Creatrix® Breakthrough - it gives you the permission to permit yourself to live the life YOU choose.... what would YOU choose?

#creatrixit

Written by

Bree Stedman

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