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There's a question I hear versions of constantly. It comes in different shapes: "Why can't I stop being so hard on myself?" or "Why do I always assume the worst about what I've done?" or just the very raw version, at 2am: "What is actually wrong with me?" Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. But something specific is happening inside your brain,...
Read MoreThe kids were at school, the house was quiet, and she was on the verge of tears. Not because anything dramatic had happened. Nothing had happened. That was the problem. She'd folded the washing, put it in the basket, and just... sat down. And couldn't get back up. She told me this story months later, after we'd worked together. 'I thought I was...
Read MoreIn this previous blog, I shared what Creatrix® Transformology® is. To recap, Creatrix® was designed with one specific observation at its foundation: existing personal development tools, including therapy, coaching, and most self-help methodologies, were developed using research predominantly based on the male experience. And while these...
Read MoreHead talk is the running internal commentary that plays in the background of a woman's mind. Not the dramatic thoughts. The quiet, constant ones. The low-level critique. The replaying of conversations. The pre-emptive worry. The comparison. The judgement. In my case, it was loudest when I was mentally rehearsing conversations I needed to have...
Read MoreShe didn't reply to your message. So now she's angry with you. Or you said something wrong last week. Or she's been quietly pulling away and this is the confirmation. He said 'fine' when you asked how he was. So something's definitely wrong. He just won't say it. Your boss didn't make eye contact in the hallway. So the meeting later is going to...
Read MoreNot a comfortable title. I know. Stay with it. Think about the last time you had a strong, fast, negative reaction to another woman. Not a considered opinion. A snap. She posted something and you felt that instant curl of irritation. She said something at work and you wrote her off before she'd finished the sentence. You saw what she was...
Read MoreI wrote recently about being on the receiving end of projection. Someone who barely knows me watched a 30-second video and sent me a verdict. It was frustrating. And eye-opening in more than one way. Here's the follow-up question I've been sitting with since. Because if I believe projection is real, and I do, then I have to be honest about the...
Read MoreSomeone I hadn't spoken to in years messaged me recently. She'd seen a 30-second video I posted. A clip of my kids mucking around, both laughing. And in that 30 seconds, she decided she knew exactly what was happening in my home. She sent me a verdict.
Read MoreA few years ago a woman named Sarah came to me having spent years 'working' on herself. She wasn't in crisis. She was, by every external measure, fine. Good job. Loving family. Comfortable, loving home. But she described sitting in therapy sessions every Tuesday and leaving feeling lighter for about two hours, and then waking up Wednesday morning...
Read MoreEvery success guru says the same thing. "Get up early. Push yourself. Show up every day. No excuses. Hustle harder." I used to say it too. Because that is what I was taught. Now? I cringe every single time I hear it, because I have seen firsthand, hundreds of times over 13 years, what that advice does to women who actually try to live
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